ADRIFT Forum


The place to discuss the ADRIFT Interactive Fiction toolkit

Sample - Opening to 'Red Snow'

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Postby quantumdaimon » Mon Jul 29, 2002 1:30 pm

This is a sample of my opening sequence for my first 'real' game. I discovered that the 3rd person POV in ADRIFT was present as opposed to past tense, so I have to make major changes anyway, and I thought I'd get some improvement advice.

--A flake of snow danced in the air before his eyes. Although snow was to be expected this time of year, Seaton was concerned. In this district, he knew, a single flake would easily become an avalanche, destined to prevent anyone from their course. He pulled his cloak tightly around his neck as a gust of chilling wind broke around him, and his mare, Arianna, shook beneath him. Seaton Ferris was in his early thirties, a tall man with shoulder-length hair, as dark as that of a raven.--

The main character's description is still in need of extension, as soon as I figure out how he looks.
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Postby Mercury » Mon Jul 29, 2002 6:41 pm

..



Edited By Mercury on 06 Aug. 2002 at 13:03
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Postby quantumdaimon » Tue Jul 30, 2002 1:03 pm

Thanks for that, Merc. Hopefully I'll be able to reach the same standard from an alternate POV. :D
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