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Wotta Buncha Characters! - En's own writing challenge

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Postby En Kerklaar » Sun Aug 18, 2002 3:42 am

Okay. I got this idea while participating in Pass The Salt. Yes, it's another joint writing challenge. And yes, it is set at a party.

Yes, I ripped the idea of setting at a party off of that thread. I'm sure Mystery will understand.

And if she doesn't, I'm sure she won't smack me too hard.

And just in case, I'll make it a different kind of party.

The premise is this: the setting is a party. I will start the thread off, from the point of view of one character. Then, someone else will post, from the point of view of another character, either one mentioned in my post or a new one. Then someone else will post with another character, and so on. In subsequent posts, you must continue to use the character you used in your first post. The idea is to develop a story while developing our own seperate characters.

Since I'll be writing in the third person present tense, any subsequent posters should do likewise, to keep a sense of flow going.

Try and keep it fairly clean; blatant profanity isn't just tasteless, it isn't very funny. The subtler you can be, the better. Then again, if your character swears a lot, or likes to refer to parts of the female anatomy in less than scientific terms, let him. Just try not to get the thread deleted is all I'm asking.

Oh, and signatures off.

I'll start:

Wotta Buncha Characters!
An En Kerklaar Production

"Lookin' good, girls. Lookin' damn good."

Andy is on top of everything. As usual.

But only figuritively for now. The literal part of that comes later.

Heh.

So Andy is doing his thing. It's his party after all. And what a spectacular party it is, too. Everyone is there. And why not? Andy is King.

King of Used Car Prices, at any rate.

And the rates are usually pretty damn good, if you ask Andy.

Everyone is here. The Mayor. The editor of the local newspaper. The Minister of the Interior.

Can't forget the Minister of the Interior.

"Hey Andy," says the Minister of the Interior. "Where's the buffet table?"

"Right over there, my man. Where those ladies are that are lookin' in my direction."

"Thanks Andy," says the Minister of the Interior, heading over to the buffet, and the ladies.
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Postby Mystery » Sun Aug 18, 2002 3:54 am

"Hey Andy, this party is lame. The girls have decided that we'd go hang out some place......well......someplace where you're not." Amber says, giving Andy the major brush off.

Andy is left with only his pathetic co-workers. "Some Party, you loser!" and the guests leave one by one.


(It sure sucks when your party is a drag.)
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Postby En Kerklaar » Sun Aug 18, 2002 4:01 am

What? How can this be? Andy is King! Andy's parties are King!

"Amber! Girls! People! Come back!"

"This party sucks," says the Minster of the Interior, munching on a sandwich from the buffet table. "Your buffet table wasn't even good. There's mayonnaise on this sandwich. I hate mayonnaise!" He continues to head for the door, eating away.

"Damn it people, come on! There's plenty of fun to go around!"

"I like your party, Andy," says Phil, his Number One Employee. "And I love mayonnaise!" he exclaims happily, eating.


EDIT: Corrected an obvious omission.



Edited By En Kerklaar on 18 Aug. 2002 at 18:13
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Postby theleaf » Sun Aug 18, 2002 10:02 am

A figure which noone knew was there steps out from a dark corner while chuckling. Everyone (Who's left) looks round at him and as they do so it produces a mixture of strange emotions on their faces.

This is because the figure is wearing a cowboy hat, a long leather greatcoat, knee-high leather boots and a dirty shirt and trousers. All of which are brown.

"Howdy partner," he says as he walks towards Andy, "Vincent's the name..." he cuts off from his sentence while looking around then goes bright red.

"Oops, I think I've come to the wrong party," he stammers out while rushing towards the door, "Sorry!" he calls out as he leaves the building.

(I think I may have written this wrong but, what the heck)
"Bye!"

"Seeya!"

"Thanks for the mint."
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Postby Mystery » Sun Aug 18, 2002 3:13 pm

"We,re back," says Amber. "As it turns out, there isn't any other place to hang out. How about puttin' on some music?"

"Allright," Andy agrees, "I sure am glad you guys came back. Some coyboy lookin dude just tried crashing what was left of my party."

"Say, Andy," Amber says while appraoching him. " My car has been acting up lately, and I think I might need a new one."
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Postby En Kerklaar » Sun Aug 18, 2002 5:11 pm

"Just a sec, sweet thing." Flipping through his CDs, Andy finally finds the one he's looking for. "This is gauraunteed to get the party hoppin' in no time," he says happily, giving Amber a wink and popping the CD into the player.

It takes only a few seconds for the opening of the song to begin, and then a few seconds after that for it to launch into the vocal:

"Everybody was Kung-fu fighting!"

Ninjas start dropping down from the cieling.

"Those fists were fast as lightning."

The ninjas start dancing. Someone is handing out ceasars.

"Is this a party or what, girls?" Andy is grooving along to the music. "I bet even if that cowboy showed up again, he'd be hard pressed not to have a damn good time!"

"Um, Andy?" Amber is forced to yell over the volume. "About my new car?"

"You want to go a bar?"

"A CAR! I need a NEW CAR!"

"Sure babe, I think you'd make a great porn star."

"A CAR! I NEED A CAR!"

"Oh. Well, come on over to my office then," he says, grooving over to his bedroom.



Edited By En Kerklaar on 18 Aug. 2002 at 18:12
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Postby T. Mulkerrins » Sun Aug 18, 2002 5:37 pm

Lenny and Bill come out of their hiding place in the bushes as the cowboy dashes past them.

"What the hell kind of party are they having in there? First they all arrive, then they leave, then they bloody come back. Now Buffalo bloody Bill is on the loose." Says Lenny.

"God only knows." Replies Bill. "Anyway, lets get back to work. You take the Merc and I'll have a crack at the BMW." He whispers, while sneeking over to the parked cars of the guests. Lenny joins him.

With a quick, proffensional touch, Bill soon jimmys open the car door and is inside, ripping apart the underside of the dashboard. Lenny however, struggles and grapples with a length of wire in the car door of the Merc. "Bloody thing. It won't open." He complains, getting more and more aggitated.

"Leave it." Shouts Bill in a whisper. "I've got the car going, get in and lets get out of here." He says, touching two wires together, roaring the engine to life.

"Bloody Mercs." Complains Lenny. "Bloody things. Hate 'em. I ####ing hate 'em."

"Get in!" Shouts Bill, not happy with having to hang around longer than nessacery. "Are those Ninjas!?" He says to himself, catching a glimpse of the party guests dancing through a window.

"F***!" Shouts Lenny as the wire slips and cuts his hand. "Oh sod this for a game of soldiers." And a fit of anger, he smashes the drivers window with his elbow.

WHOOO! WHOOO! WHOOO! WHOOO! wails the alarm.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shouts Bill, in a sweaty panic, a tingling sensation growing in his left arm.

Lenny leans in through the window, rips out the radio, checks the glove compartment (finds nothing) and leaps into the BMW, before they both screech off into the night.



Edited By T. Mulkerrins on 18 Aug. 2002 at 18:41
I h8 ppl wh0 th1nk thyr3 l33t. H4x0r n00bs.
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Postby theleaf » Sun Aug 18, 2002 5:54 pm

As Andy is about to enter his room a voice is heard behind him which sounds familiar.

"Hey, umm, could you please tell me the directions to Elm Hill please? I'm meant to be at a fancy dress party but kinda found myself here," the voice says in a rather embarrased way,

Andy turns around to see the cowboy person there, "Sure I can! But you've first gotta buy one of my cars." he says cheerfully.

"Huh?"

"Just kiddin' ya my man!"

"Yeah...Anyway, about those directions?"

"Okay, you need to go down Fisher Lane..." he hesitates for a moment, "Or was it Glebe Road?.."

Both Vincent and Amber start to look impatient after a short while as Andy can't seem to make his mind up and they both obviously have better things to do. Then all of a sudden an alarm is heard outside.

(I don't think I wrote this one right either. I seem to be writing it from a narrators point of view and not Vincent's...Oh well)
"Bye!"

"Seeya!"

"Thanks for the mint."
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Postby TheDataHacker » Sat Aug 24, 2002 7:05 am

Walden taps his thumbs on his notebook impatiently, waiting for another chance to talk to Andy. After being brushed off twice by Andy (once when all the guests left, and again when they returned), and even ignored by Phil, Walden begins to wonder just how he'll get to ask Andy his questions.

And questions he has. Adjusting the name tag he wears which identifies him as the newspaper editor, he looks around the room, carefully keeping the badge that all special agents wear hidden under his coat. The badge that he'll flash when he knows he has the evidence he needs to accuse the suspect. The evidence he'll have to get out of the suspect himself - if he ever gets a chance to talk to him. No one here seems to have questioned his identity, yet, but no one seems interested in talking to him either. And now, Andy has wandered off with some girl...

"Okay, time to step things up a bit", he says to himself, stepping out onto the dance floor.
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Postby T. Mulkerrins » Fri Aug 30, 2002 7:38 pm

"What have your obversations concluded?" Asked Zarg, the high commander. "Eh, well..." Bloog stammered, glancing at Plook, his scientific partner. "Spit it out man!" Commanded Zarg. "Well eh, you see, the our original hypothesis of this spieces has been largley confirmed through our studies of their global communications and media broadcasts..." Said Bloog. "Excellent! Then the plan shall go ahead." Gloated Zarg. "Well, there is just one thing..." Added Plook, nerveously. "And what is that?" Inquired Zarg, a grim look creeping over his face. "We, eh, well, it's like, sort of, eh" Mumbled Plook, avoiding eye contact with the commnder. Zarg was becoming impatient. "It's impossible to explain, Commander. You'll have to see it for yourself." Interruppted Bloog, dashing over to the control panel of the video screen. Twisting a few knobs and pressing a couple of buttons resulted in the screen crackling to life. "Myself and Plook took it upon ourselves to test the new infra ray, commander, as it is a key component to our mission." Said Bloog. "We randomly picked a location to see if the ray truly is capable of reciving visual images through dense materials. " He twisted a few more knobs, pressed another button, then continued. "What you see before you on the video screen is a live feed from inside a typical human abode, or 'house' as the natives call it." Zarg looked at the screen. The picture was grainy and periodically crackled with static, but an image of a human male twiching his legs and shaking his arms in a mad, frantic manner could be seen. "What is he doing!?" Inquired Zarg, shocked and confused. "We are not too sure." Replied Plook. "It could be some kind of martial art, or a primative form of communication. Our best research suggests however, it is an activity called 'dancing', also refferd to as 'getting funky'." Zarg was astounded. "Why do they do it? I mean, he looks a complete Doobzeeg, an utter trumpgoo. What possible aim could such a tragiclly horrendus activity achieve?"
"We think, It is meant to impress and attract the opposite sex." Said Bloog. "For what purpose?" Asked Zarg. "Mating." Answered Plook. "This is what these humans look for in a potential mate?" Zarg shuddered. "Turn off the video screen, the sheer thought of it makes my skin crawl." Plook turned off the screen. "Do we have a name for this wretched creature?" Asked Zarg. "We have dubbed him 'specimen 2078'. His fellow kind refer to him as 'Waldon'." Replied Plook.
"Bring me this 'Waldon'." Commanded Zarg. "We need to learn more about this 'getting funky' before our plans can go ahead."



Edited By T. Mulkerrins on 30 Aug. 2002 at 20:45
I h8 ppl wh0 th1nk thyr3 l33t. H4x0r n00bs.
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Postby TheDataHacker » Sun Sep 01, 2002 10:03 am

Ninjas continue to jump off the walls and each other over Vincent's head as he rushes from the house, directions in hand. Suddenly a sweaty businessman, shaking in a bizarre tribal manner, steps into his path and they collide, tumbling to the floor.

"What the..."

"Ooomph!"

"Oh, fer cryin... "

"Ah! My spleen! Ungh!" The businessman lay unmoving on the floor for a moment, no longer embarrasing himself with his lack of rhythm.

"Scuse me, mr..."

"Uh, Walden, I'm, uh, the editor of the local paper."

"uh huh... I'm late for a real party, so... " Disregarding the chuckles of the girls nearby, Vincent stands up, brushing himself off and turning to leave. "What a pathetic..." he begins to mutter, when suddenly his outline silouettes the wall, a flash of light exploding from the floor behind him. "Whoa.. somebody break a light? I ...." he stops, confused at the sight. Empty clothing lay in place of the pathetically unpopular newspaper guy. Clothes that look like... he taps them with his foot. Suddenly a ninja flies down, jumping off the floor and back into the air, accidentally kicking and scattering the clothes across the room in the process. "Whatever... I'm outta here" Vincent mutters, heading for the door again.
"Somebody set us up the bomb."

"Who you callin scruffy lookin?"
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