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Postby Woodfish » Sun Jul 28, 2002 2:06 pm

Since I'm feeling a bit bored at the moment, I have had an idea to improve our writing skills. Imagine you are writing a room description (a paragraph in size) and describe what you can currently see. By this I mean what you can see as you look at your computer screen now, and your current surroundings. Describe what you can hear, and what you can feel. Then, if you feel you can offer advice on others descriptions, please do so.
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Postby T. Mulkerrins » Sun Jul 28, 2002 2:32 pm

Clearing in the spookwood forest.

Gnarled, dead trees sway and creak in gusts of wind, and form a claustaphobic barrier in every direction, except for a dark harrowing trail leading downhill, south from here.
Violent pumkin spiders fight and squabble amongst themselves over remanants of a candy stick girl, ripping off limbs and chunks of sugar. They pay no attention to me.
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Postby Woodfish » Sun Jul 28, 2002 2:37 pm

Um... that was very good, but it wan't what I was thinking of. I meant describe the room you are in at the moment. And what you can see around you. But then again, maybe an imaginary place would be able to have more room for descriptive writing. I don't know.
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Postby T. Mulkerrins » Sun Jul 28, 2002 2:44 pm

I knew that. Those are my surroundings. Honest. I'm not lying. Are you calling me a lair? You are calling me a liar! :0 Well I don't have to stay here and be insulted! I can go to my usual place for that!, TAXI! (sound of car door slamming shut and wheels screeching.)

VVVVVRRRRRRROOOOOOOMMMM!!!



Edited By T. Mulkerrins on 28 July 2002 at 15:44
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Postby Ravenous » Sun Jul 28, 2002 2:47 pm

Your usual place? The psychiatrist? :p
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Postby Ravenous » Sun Jul 28, 2002 2:54 pm

The computer is easily prominent in the white-walled room, retaining a majestic standpoint from its perch upon the wooden desk. Trash is littered in liberal amounts across the desk's glossy surface, pieces ranging from empty bottles and cups to a growing stack of AOL 7.0 CDs. A large bookshelf has taken up residence in another corner, proudly displaying a colorful collection books in neat, organized rows. A large dinosaur plush, souvenir from a past journey, guards the bottom shelf, watching the other toys with a vigilant eye.

(There's a lot more to the room, but I figured anymore and you all would get bored. :))
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Postby T. Mulkerrins » Sun Jul 28, 2002 3:25 pm

Ravenous wrote:Your usual place? The psychiatrist? :p

Too poor for that. Just try my moves on the ladies. Works every time :0



Edited By T. Mulkerrins on 28 July 2002 at 16:34
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Postby Mercury » Sun Jul 28, 2002 4:15 pm

..



Edited By Mercury on 06 Aug. 2002 at 12:56
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Postby Ravenous » Sun Jul 28, 2002 4:17 pm

Hmm..plush doesn't seem like a good choice of word. In fact, it's not even a plush. Rather, it's one of those articulated super-detailed destructo toys.

I don't have any plushes in my room at all, I think. Only about 2 toys, for that matter, as I'm always on the computer.
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Postby Mercury » Sun Jul 28, 2002 4:19 pm

..



Edited By Mercury on 06 Aug. 2002 at 12:57
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Postby Superplonker » Thu Aug 01, 2002 11:17 am

Here's my room description from the game I'm currently working on. I've based most of the rooms on my house:

"Your dank, celestial pit is barely large enough to swing a cat round, not that you'd want to do such a thing. It contains everything a bedroom needs. Your bed sulks in the corner, a ravage mess whilst your computer leers at you with resentment opposite. A chest of drawers sits upright against a wall to your right. The floors are littered with allsorts of gubbins whilst a single poster adorns your wall next to which hangs a calendar. Your bedroom door would lead north to the landing if it was open."
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Postby MileOut » Thu Aug 01, 2002 11:38 am

In room descriptions, even if my game is in the second person (i.e. you), I don't like to use the words 'you' or 'your' within it as I believe it's better to set a scene without being too personal.
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Postby En Kerklaar » Thu Aug 01, 2002 5:53 pm

I'm the exact opposite. I prefer my room descriptions to be as personal as possible; in story-driven games, you're taking on the role of a character, and what better way to get that role across than to relate his point of view to his surroundings, describing everything the way the character would describe it?

I'll admit, you can do this without delving into the realm of "you see", but I prefer it that way. I don't want detached observations. I want to see what my character is seeing. In a way, I'm that character, but in another, I'm just along for the ride.

Little Blue Men, which I have already mentioned on this fourm more than should be allowed, made excellent use of this. We're not just seeing the surroundings of the game, we're seeing the surroundings as seen by the main character, who is... well, I don't want to give anything away.

Anyway, just my two cents.
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Postby En Kerklaar » Thu Aug 01, 2002 5:55 pm

As an added thought, the preceding really only works depending on the kind of game you're trying to create. Some games benefit hugely by detached observaton rather than personalization. It all depends on the mood you're trying to create.

In fact, the more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that how you write your descriptions isn't depenedant so much on what makes a "good description", but rather what best serves the needs of the game.

That's kind of obvious, but it's something I'd previously taken for granted.
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Postby Mercury » Thu Aug 01, 2002 9:16 pm

..



Edited By Mercury on 06 Aug. 2002 at 12:57
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