David Whyld wrote:Okay, you keep posting these demos (seriously, what's wrong with actually finishing something once in a while?) which look like they were written in the space of an hour and that clearly haven't been tested. I'm guessing you're looking for feedback. Well, here it is.
The introduction: it's one line long. Just one. Why not flesh it out a bit? Add some depth? Where am I driving to when I run out of gas? Who am I? Why am I walking miles down the road to discover a house - don't I have a mobile?
First location: a house is mentioned in the room description (which is, like the introduction, just one line long) but can't be examined. Examining the mailbox gives the description "A white, wooden mailbox. The White Wooden Mailbox is currently closed." Bad description. Why do 'white', 'wooden' and 'mailbox' start with capitals? Why is the item mentioned twice like this in the description? Trying to "open it" doesn't work, I have to type its name to refer to it.
Second location: again, one line long. You really need to flesh these things out a little. Again, the house can't be examined even though I'm standing right in front of it. The description of the door is just painful.
Elsewhere I found a rock with the description "a small rock" and a tire with "a tire for a vehicle". Every location description was a single line long. You don't need to write a screen long piece of text for every location, but at least try and make them sound interesting. I try to smash the window with the rock but I can't - why doesn't smash work?
And that was pretty much all I could stand. Several dozen empty locations which seem to have no bearing on the game as a whole, no proper descriptions for anything, most locations lack clearly listed exits so moving around is a pain, weird capitalisation, obvious commands not working - what incentive do I have to keep playing any further? Now I can understand you're enthusiastic at being able to write text adventures, but there's a big difference between enthusiasm and being any good at it. My advice? Stop uploading these badly written demos, download some of the better ADRIFT games out there, see what other people are writing, and have a good brush up on just what it is people want to play in a text adventure. Then, and only then, write another game. Demos are like this aren't likely to appeal to anyone and you're only going to shoot yourself in the foot by writing them.
saabie wrote:Please only published finished and tested games to the Adventures page.
The "Demo" section is meant for example/tutorial code to show other Adrift developers how to do something with Adrift.
To get feedback for beta testing then you should upload directly to this forum.
When you are entering a new message, scroll down to just below the submit button (in the full editor, not quick reply) where you will find an "upload attachment" tab next to the options tab.
Press the Browse button to upload your TAF file, then press "Add the file" to insert it into your message.
Oh, and Nickey, I'm not disheartened at ALL by his response, as I am a very mature and respectful man, I take it as only something I can use to improve on my game...
David Whyld wrote:Well, you certainly took that better than I expected. Most newcomers who receive the slightest bit of criticism tend to go off in a huff, often bashing the people trying to help because we're nasty so 'n' so's and didn't sing their praises. It's refreshing to see someone being reasonable about it.
Samkid882 wrote:The aplha version (v1.0) of my game Tree Part One: The Underground Tunnel.
Please post any bugs or requests for a walkthrough when necessary.
You must be an amazing typist if you have never managed to transpose two letters while typing.ralphmerridew wrote:Unless it's deliberate, you misspelled "Alpha".
ralphmerridew wrote:Unless it's deliberate, you misspelled "Alpha". That does not encourage me to find out more about your game.
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